Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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