just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
