We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
