i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
