I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
