Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
