you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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