dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
