Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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