I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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