So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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