who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
