That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He better not be in your backpack
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize