He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
