Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
