I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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