I understand Curling. That high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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