Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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