He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize