Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Found your dick twin last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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