Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I need to align my fucking chakras
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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