So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
