i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize