I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
