Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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