I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
