if you like me you must not know who I am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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