Moan for me like Helen Keller
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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