Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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