At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
