I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
