and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Randomize
