youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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