Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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