I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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