Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Don't make out with my wife yet
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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