In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
