I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
