I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
