im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
