I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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