All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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