The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
