I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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