We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
