In the future we'll all be gay
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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