i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
