WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
