bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
where am i from again
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
