We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
