So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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