mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
