I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize