Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
