): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
