Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
This toilet bowl is my home.
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