So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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