he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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