if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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