Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
